Almost one month to the day since Abi and I tied the knot it was time for the start of our big adventure!

Tears were shed in the North West and the South East, everyone no doubt, just coming to terms with the heroics of one Benjamin Stokes.

Or perhaps the tears stemmed from the fact that I had been forced to leave behind a good number of ‘Category A’ T-shirts. Abi had claimed that she was bringing just 4 for our near 6 month expedition, which came as quite a shock to me…as I had in the region of 20! After hours of negotiations and a few repacks, I was down to around 12. Not the result we wanted but marriage is all about compromise.

We waved goodbye at Lime St (O’Loughlins) and Gatwick (Yeates’ minus Double 0 Dot) and the two brave adventurers were on their way!

The New World would have to wait a few days though, as every great explorer must begin their quest in Portugal and its beautiful capital: Lisbon.

We arrived on Wednesday evening and efficiently navigated the metro before a short walk (if you have never visited Lisbon then I will tell you now that it is rather hilly – not ideal for those of us suffering from a cricket related knee injury) to the hotel.

Throughout the series of blogs I will be offering some insight into the various accommodations that we find ourselves in and will be subsequently rating it out of 10. At the end of the trip we will have an awards special where a winner is crowned.

Pensao Sao Joao de Praça was our first offering and we stayed 2 nights. It was booked a little late and therefore options were somewhat limited. It was in an excellent location but a little pricey at £54 per night (in fact it might well be one of the most expensive of the whole trip). The room was basic but serviceable however the bed was rock hard which meant a fairly uncomfortable couple of nights sleep. The shower was the inspiration for one of Katy Perry’s all time classics while the 6 flights of stairs were inconvenient. I also had key issues but that is nothing new having snapped one in Vietnam a couple of years back.

Abi’s Rating: 4/10 (she tried to change it to 5 “because I need to save the lower numbers for India”, but sadly we have to take the first answer.

Mike’s Rating: 5/10

With only one full day to see as much of Lisbon as possible, Abi had booked us onto a 9.30 walking tour with an extremely knowledgable and enthusiastic young lady called Andreia. She told us at the start of the tour that she had studied performing arts (this became apparent over the next 3 and a half hours) and her English was excellent.

We were told many stories about the fascinating history of Lisbon from the effect of the 1755 Earthquake to the many important cultural figures whose names appear on every street corner.

It was all in all a thoroughably enjoyable experience although I would argue that at times a little less talking might not have been a terrible idea. Maybe it is just me…I am not a fan of tours.

Abi and I were able to sneak off just as we were about to ascend another flight of gruelling stairs. Our attention immediately turned to the whereabouts of a supermarket and once it was located we were able to purchase bananas and some lays crisps. The more desirable items (bread and cheese) were not available at this establishment – or any other over the course of the next few minutes.

My knee was starting to feel the effects of a full morning of walking and so Abi set off on a solo mission to find the the elusive commodities that we so desperately craved. Alas it was not meant to be and she returned empty handed – this is not entirely accurate as she did reveal that she had bought yoghurt style cheese things…whoever stays in our room next will have them free of charge if they look in the fridge!

There is always the argument that the main stream media often neglect to report upon important issues that are affecting every day people around the world. The great bread famine of Lisbon is one of these issues, that I for one, would like to read more about.

We returned home for an afternoon siesta, a battery recharge and some crisps followed by a banana each. It was now time for the afternoon event: tram 28.

With its narrow streets and sharp inclines, Lisbon relies up its fleet of trams to transport its citizens around its delightfully cobbled streets. Unfortunately the tram network doubles up as a tourist attraction and we were forced into waiting for an hour to catch the infamous tram 28.

Fortunately for us the people in the queue provided more than enough entertainment as many of them tried some inventive ways to try and get on the tram quicker. The undisputed champion was a local elder who – wielding a walking stick – managed to force her way onto the 25 seater carriage having waited approximately 59 minutes and 58 seconds less than everyone else in the queue. An irate American duo were swatted aside in he melee and the seasoned pro sat triumphantly at the front of the tram as it pulled away in front of us. We found it funny and we were at the front of the queue so we were pretty ecstatic…

The journey itself was fantastic as we were treated to great architecture, scenic views and a number of hair raising bends. The only slight complaint was that we were transported to the west of the City and had to disembark before getting on the same tram 10 minutes later for the return trip. By this time hunger was also a factor and on arrival back in Alfama we swiftly made our way to a restaurant that Andreia had recommended to us earlier in the day.

Perhaps the bread famine was fake news as they served it free of charge in the quaint little eatery, and we also tucked into a wonderful tuna salad, chicken picalhinos and some rather rich Gorgonzola filled mushrooms.

The evening was nicely rounded off with a pair of ice creams as we strolled down the Main Street in Downtown Lisbon. The soundtrack to this walk was the sound of half the local population attempting to sell us “Hashish, sheesh, marijuana, weed or – as Andreia had pointed out to us – oregano!

Overall a highly aesthetically pleasing city that we would definitely like to return to in the future.

Friday morning brought plenty of excitement as we took the metro in the opposite direction and headed for the airport.

Next Stop: Rio de Janeiro

What Odds Paddy?

Another feature for you now as we ascertain the likelihood of Divorce at each particular juncture. It is essentially a gauge of how much I have managed to annoy Abi over the previous few days (it will basically be the result of me being cheap, childish (I call it fun) or a combination of the two!

Current Odds: 5000-1. The trip has only just started and we have not seen each other for a few weeks so things went relatively smoothly in Lisbon. The small bread incident aside there was not too much to write home about in terms of trouble in paradise. Divorce currently about as likely as a team widely tipped for relegation, winning the Premier League!