Day 1

We were up early for our pick up that carried us 30km to the Chilean border. The views from the queue were pretty stunning but the wait was rather tedious and again it took a while to get through Chilean customs.

We finally got the green light and drove down the road to the Bolivian equivalent which was much more tranquillo.

Here we enjoyed breakfast and got chatting to Britains ambassador to Panama who has just done the Salt Flat trip coming the other way. He assured Dad that Ecuador was now fine although we might have a few issues in Bolivia with elections scheduled for the final day of our trip (Sunday 21st October).

After breakfast we were told to get into groups of 6 (think primary PE) and we lucked out with our group:

Jokin (no joke) – 23 year old from the Basque Country who was not short of an opinion but absolutely hilarious throughout.

Bruna – 22 year old aspiring Doctor from Porto who is studying for a semestre in Sao Paulo. Super friendly with a superb music collection that kept us going on the long stretches.

Daniele – 37 year old German with Italian heritage who is taking a year out after completing his PHD. Perfect English and a fairly British sense of humour to boot!

Angelito – Age unknown. Nationality Bolivian. Knew next to nothing with regard to questions we had and was forced to follow the two other jeeps in our pack because of route confusion. Having said this, he was a great guy and we had a lot of fun.

The first day took us to heights of 5000m as we visited the altiplanic lakes of Bolivia.

There was some stunning scenery from the first lake before we visited Laguna Verde.

We also got to visit a geyser field although it was a lot calmer than I had remembered.

Sitting in the back of the jeep was a bit cramped so we rotated. On the road we were very lucky to see an Andean fox who posed for some photos.

Our final stop of the morning allowed us to have a bathe in 32 degree hot springs. The altitude meant that it was a bit chilly so the bubbling water was a welcome relief.

Jokin entertained us by talking about his love for football (“I hate Real Sociedad and Athletic Bilbao…everyone is crazy about football and it is (e)stupid”) with Abi nodding in agreement in the background.

He also complained about a sign that read “do not wear sunscreen in the hotspring”. His response was that him getting skin cancer was far more significant than the potential damage to nature.

We arrived at our accommodation in the early afternoon and had a cracking lunch. On the menu was mashed potato, sausages, beef, salad and loads of avocado. A real treat.

Daniele is a vegetarian and there was a hilarious moment in the jeep when he had to teach Angelito the Spanish word for vegetarian (vegetariano). Obviously it isn’t common in these parts!

We had a little rest after lunch with Abi and Dad struggling a bit with the high altitude. They were in much better shape than a chinese lady from a rival (same company but not our friends) jeep who had started the day wailing a ritual to the mountains at the border, but ended it confined to her bed.

The afternoon activity took us to Laguna Colorada and for me the highlight of the first couple of days.

The wind had really picked up and so we had to adorn multiple layers in order to stave off the chill factor. But this was quickly forgotten as we spent an hour strolling around the shores of the lake and marvelling at the thousands of Flamingos that stood in front of us.

Apparently there are 3 types Chilean, Andean and James’ (thanks to Bruna for this information in the absence of Angelito’s local knowledge).

As we made our way back to the jeep we spotted a pack of llamas a short distance away and we all bemoaned the fact that a grade A prat had decided to march towards them camera in hand. Some people really do lack the requisite brain capacity to be considered a fellow human being.

We returned to our accommodation for the evening and I managed to complete my 7th book of the trip so far (that is one a week so pretty good going).

The evening meal was soup followed by spaghetti with a bolognese sauce which was exactly what the Doctor ordered.

We went back to our room content and positively exhausted after a long day at the office.

Abi’s Rating: 6/10 – “Shared bathrooms weren’t very nice…but it was warm and there were lots of blankets”.

Mike’s Rating: 6/10 – Much better than anticipated but there was a lot of commotion in the night which did cloud the experience somewhat.

Richie’s Rating: 6/10 – “Room was comfortable but the bathroom facilities were rather basic”

The aforementioned commotion took many shapes. Firstly a torch was shone in my face as the man on the other end searched for Arturito (Abi was impressed that I managed to respond in Spanish despite being half asleep).

About an hour later I thought I heard some clapping but this was not corroborated by anyone else over breakfast so I may have made it up.

However the 4am incident definitely did take place and involved a lot of running and shouting. Apparently a German chap from another tour company had collapsed and hit his head. Call me cynical but these things tend not to happen to people who don’t drink wine at 4,700m above sea level.

Day 2

We had a light breakfast before heading out at around 8am. The early talk was of the overnight events and Angelito shed some light. Our Chinese Mountain caller was still struggling and had some difficulties in the night while the German wine drinker was apparently shaken but fine.

Today was lake day and we visited four in total. Now I love a good lake but by the time we had reached the fourth one even I was getting a little bit bored. You won’t though so enjoy the pictures.

Luncheon was served in a mini hut and it was delicious. Rice, tuna, potatoes and a plethora of salad. The food really was an unexpected highlight of the whole trip. Unfortunately we figured out too late that Angelito would only eat when we had finished so Jokin and I had polished off most of the scran before he had a chance to start!

The afternoon brought a fair amount of driving but we kept ourselves entertained with Bruna’s excellent array of old and new pop (Daniele’s hip hop was more of an acquired taste).

The drive was split up by a visit to Dali’s desert and the piedra de arbol (both allegedly created having been fired out of nearby volcanos).

Late in the day Daniele and I talked all things Liverpool and I was very impressed by his knowledge of English football.

Abi, Jokin and Bruna amused themselves with some “Arry Potter” chat…(Rrrrrrrron Weasley and Hermion key characters in the Spanish version!).

The final stretch involved a drive over our first Salar before we stopped for some pictures on a now barely used train line. “How old is the train line Angelito”…a 5 second pause…”50 years old”. A google on our return to civilisation told us he was only 65 years out!

We were on a tour so a random stop at a little shop is a must…we entertained ourselves by talking to the llamas.

As the sun began to set we arrived at our accommodation for the second evening, a salt hotel.

Abi’s Rating: 8/10 – “Comfy” (On a bus and was playing a game so limited response). “The wall was tasty”.

Mike’s Rating: 8/10 – Private room and a hot shower…no wifi so rugby coverage was a no go.

Richie’s Rating: 8/10 – “That was very good actually. My first private room with my own bathroom and warm water. Novelty factor of being on a salt bed”.

Within seconds of putting our stuff in the rooms, Jokin, Bruna and I were outside fighting over Bruna’s 3G coverage. Jokin wanted to tell his Mum that he was alive, Bruna wanted a whatsapp and I was desperate for the rugby scores.

Jokin managed to send a string of messages to himself instead of his mum (and to make matters worse they were fairly nonsensical as his attempt at Basque was thwarted by Bruna’s predictive text). I did not get a rugby score but a glimpse of a headline that read “Australia’s pain self inflicted in England loss” made me feel much better. (A late night call to Jenny using some of Father’s purchased minutes confirmed the good news).

Dinner was a lovely sweet corn soup, followed by chicken and chips and we outstayed the other group as we discussed (listened to Jokin talk about) Spanish politics. Very interesting and just like being back at University!

Day 3 (Bolivian election day)

Our final day was supposed to start at 5am and our whole jeep was ready and waiting. Unfortunately Angelito did not know the way so we head to wait for the other groups.

A special mention here goes to 2 Peruvian women who were particularly disruptive and sauntered out to their jeep at 5.15am. It would not be their last indiscretion of the day!

As a result we missed the sunrise and were quite understandably rather peeved.

We already knew it was going to be a long day as the tour would be extended by 3 hours as the traffic in the whole of Bolivia is banned on election day. If you think that is baffling, it is also illegal to drink alcohol 2 days before voting takes place (Jokin was outraged at this and informed us that some of his best decisions had been made whilst under the influence).

After the sunrise disappointment we dusted ourselves off and headed for cactus island. A quite remarkable place that we would have a disproportionately long 3 hours to roam around.

Before that we indulged in a fine little breakfast that consisted of yoghurt, cereal, and cake smothered in dulce de leche.

We paid our entrance fee and set off on a slow walk around the island. We managed to use up half an hour at the first viewing point…

And we had an even longer stay at the top. It is a remarkable feat of nature to have so many cacti growing in the middle of the salt flat. Father slyly joined the back of an English speaking tour and informed us that the cacti grow 1cm per year meaning that some of the plants surrounding us were in excess of 500 years old!

By the time we had made our way back down (having made another quick call home – Wales and SA the beneficiaries on this occasion which pleased the old boy) we had used up just over two hours. I’ve crucified the Peruvian girls on here but credit where credit is due…one of them spotted a rabbit like creature.

The final hour entailed some Brexit related humour involving some flags . On the subject of Brexit…long may the deliberations continue. The current sporting success of our great nation is clearly a by-product of our political turmoil and therefore if we can prorogue it til after next years European Championships then we might well win a football tournament too!

Angelito finally called time on our stay at cactus island and we headed to the middle of the humungous Salt Flat to take a bucketload of perspective pictures. Some worked, some didn’t but had a lot of fun and our Bolivian guide starred in a number of shots (not least the accidental selfie).

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We had finished before the other groups (shock) but time was not of the essence so we trundled off towards our lunch venue to find out it was closed (elections). You’d think if they were going to all have a day off to vote they would have the sense to do it on a working day instead of a Sunday!

We had our lunch outside and it was another tasty affair (chicken and pasta). Angelito told us that a 2 hour wait was in the offing so we all settled in for the long haul.

I was delighted with my positioning as it was directly behind a crummy statue (in a tiny salt pool) that for some reason was the centre of the insta girl universe. The phrase “it would be great if that guy wasn’t in my photo” brought joy and warmth to my heart.

Fifteen minutes later and we were off to our next destination. More salt flat pictures woooo. For over 2 hours we sat on the edge of the Salar waiting for the phone call that would give us the go ahead.

Luckily our group was all in the same boat and we enjoyed chatting away and laughing at our Peruvian friends from earlier in the day as they took an unbelievable number of photos.

One of the highlights of the wait was the resurrection of the chinese lady who had been glued to the jeep ever since her border ballad. She glided off into the distance and once again began shrieking to the mountains. We were not sure whether she was thanking them that the trip was nearly over, asking them to let us into Uyuni or simply attending choir practice, but either way we were grateful for the distraction.

As the time wore on we began to get somewhat hysterical and when Angelito arrived with news of people voting twice we were hardly surprised. Apparently Theonly thing Bolivians were allowed to do all day was vote so they may as well do it more than once!

Jokin kept spirits high with a story about someone in Spain called Alberte Mato (On seeing you I kill you).

As word filtered through that we could go to Uyuni it was discovered that one of the three jeeps was now empty. That particular group had gone off for a walk and seemingly become lost…fabulous. We drive to a small town on the outskirts of the Salt Flat while their guide drove around searching for them.

Fifteen minutes later the disgruntled looking driver returned with his charges. Two unrepentant Germans and a grinning Italian who smiled as he approached our jeep but was given an ice cold reception from all and sundry. “We were drinking in a hotel we found” poured salt into the wounds.

And just when we thought the suffering was over…out popped the Peru two with giggles and a wave.

We were dumbfounded that they could have gone so far off the beaten track and Jokin summed it up perfectly when he questioned how it was possible for 6/6 to be (e)stupid.

We took comfort in the fact that he wrote words to that effect on the back of their jeep in basque…a small victory.

At long last we began the drive back to Uyuni and 20 minutes later we had arrived at our destination.

A fantastic experience that was shared with a special group of people. The final day was marred by elections and bobos but it will make this trip all the more memorable.

Having originally planned to get on a bus to La Paz straight away, we chose to remain in Uyuni and rest for the night.

Next Stop: La Paz (election trouble permitting)

#WhatOddsPaddy

When there are battles waging against outside forces then relationships at home are always stronger. It is why countries love going to war and the Argentines continually bring up the Falklands (in spite of the fact that 90% of Britains U18s would have no clue what you are on about).

Odds: More likely to follow the Peru two on Instagram.